Is your Boss a Screamer? Here's How to Deal With it.

by Biodun Laaro

No one likes to work under pressure to be honest, but the lucid truth remains that we cant avoid these circumstances in the work place, even when a conscious effort is made to not arouse pressure within ones-self , the instability of the human emotion will guarantee that you will be subjected to this from someone else at least twice a day.

Now how about having a boss who is one flaring fire cracker, constantly letting off steam at the most menial conversations and cant even ask for a glass of water without making the four walls of the office ( and surrounding objects) vibrate? Oh well. . . 

Lately, my friend Jim has found himself in an endless loop of mis-communication with his boss who is a tad different from the personality described above and this he claims, has affected his productivity significantly. 

Truth be told, there is no clear cut pattern of dealing with bosses who have attitudinal problems, its like having to become their psychological therapist and this is widely advised against by corporate professionals.

After the conversation the other day with Jim, i decided to do a light reading online to see suggested ways ti deal with such scenarios, and i found this article on Fortune

Through the article, I learnt about Steven P. Cohen's teaching on how to meet an emotional person with an unemotional disposition.

Now bear in mind that your boss is human and your desired response might not be immediate, but like every cognitive behavior you will find that they develop/form over time in your subject; in this case your boss.

So read the article below and be practical in your approach and don't forget to share!!

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Cohen is president of a consulting firm called The Negotiating Skills Company and author of a new book, The Practical Negotiator: How to Argue Your Point, Plead Your Case, and Prevail in Any Situation. He notes that, while some people use yelling as a deliberate strategy to intimidate others, your boss sounds more like “someone who’s out of control and needs help learning how to cope with stress.

“He may also be dealing with personal problems, outside the office, that affect his behavior at work. But it’s not your job to be his therapist” — so, if you’re ever tempted to go there, don’t.

Instead, Cohen recommends you try one or more of these tactics:

1. Say nothing. “Sitting there with a poker face or a quizzical expression, in absolute silence, is sometimes a good way to communicate that what someone just said — or, in this case, how loudly he said it — is offensive to you,” Cohen notes. Wait until he runs out of steam and stops shouting before you continue the discussion.

2. Calmly explain why his yelling bothers you. If you feel you have to speak, you could say something like, “When someone yells at me like this, it’s very hard for me to concentrate. I feel as if we’re really not communicating.” There’s an outside chance that pointing out the problem will embarrass him into lowering his voice, but even if not, having expressed what you’re thinking will make you feel less like a deer in his headlights.

3. Talk very softly. An approach that Cohen has often seen work is to “talk in a very soft voice, slowly,” he says. “Make him listen to you, even to the point where he asks you to speak a little louder.” This can be effective for two reasons. First, it distracts the yeller from whatever is stressing him out and shifts his attention to the content of the discussion, where it belongs; and, second, the glaring contrast between your voice and his might cause him to talk to you more quietly.

4. Restate what he’s yelling about. Sometimes yellers calm down when it’s clear you’ve understood the point they’re trying to make, Cohen says. So try repeating back to him what he just shouted, but in your own words: “If I understand you correctly, you’re saying we need to … ” “If you can get past your gut reaction to being yelled at and listen to the substance of what your boss is saying, he may be revealing important information,” Cohen notes. If so, showing that you’ve heard it might help reduce the volume.

5. Prepare a solution ahead of time. If you know in advance that something has happened that’s likely to set him off, “don’t go into a meeting unprepared. Come up with some ideas about how to address whatever the issue is — ideally, some creative, surprising ones,” says Cohen. “A surprise often throws a yeller off-kilter and makes him stop and consider an approach that may not have occurred to him.” Again, when you present these, speak softly. After a while, he may take the hint.

All that said, Cohen wonders if maybe, when you’ve been in this job for longer than two months, you’ll become as blasé about the noise as your more seasoned colleague is. “If you know this is just the way this person reacts to stress, and it doesn’t mean anything, why let it bother you?” he says. “Remind yourself that losing control and shouting at people detracts from his professional credibility, not yours.” True.