On Rejection


A few weeks ago, I went for a music audition. As I think about the experience, I am left with thoughts that reveal to me the singularity of rejection (how one bears the pain alone), and the embarrassment that comes from admitting, to others, that i failed (despite intellectual awareness of the illusive nature of failure and it's role in one's path to success).

As a writer, I often concern myself with the impression my words on page leave on others. I am consumed with the need to put my best self forward; hide the less-than-ideal part of me. This gets in the way of writing (and I imagine this propensity gets in the way of anyone trying to create anything meaningful). It prevents me from being expressive and doing what needs to be done. And, it reveals to me my own disposition to reject myself.

A handful of experiences has shown me that to conquer self in one's life is the best achievement. To stand as a true version of creation rather than an imposter driven by an ego in constant need of control. But I often make the mistake in thinking the achievement is a one time event that sets everything else in place. Conquering self requires embracing self in it's totality. And to see it as what it is: a part of a bigger existence. It's a continuous process. A journey. To do otherwise, or even partially, is to bring about unnecessary suffering.

Suffering, I think, comes from trying to fix oneself into the world often forgetting we are already part of the world. We learn to cope with this suffering from others who teach us to inflict even more suffering upon ourselves. So, when we come across roadblocks, we count our inadequacies rather than pick up where we left off in our journey to self. We reject self by stripping it of it's appropriate esteem. 

Rejection can be painful. The fear of it leads to poor preparation when it comes to showcasing something like a vocal ability. It leads to stifling of self so that writing expression becomes a nightmare. But it's always a nice reminder that each of us shines with something that is greater than the world and that rejection comes with the package of being remarkable. In the end, no one can reject us until we have rejected ourselves.




Update: I came across two quotes I think relate to the topic of rejection. 

You are never as good as they say you are and you are never as bad as they say you are.
-Unknown

If you are suffering, it's because you are forgetting who you are. 
-Buddha

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Post Author: P. W. Uduk
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Photo Source: www.wolfpacksuccess.com

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