One problem exists with making resolutions. As a BasicPulse reader put it, "all we have to do is wait till mid-February, all the resolutions we've made this January will disappear." Our ability to stick to a resolution comes undone the older we live into a fresh year. By mid-February, we are back to being who we were and by mid-December of the new year we are concocting new resolutions we are unsure we will succeed at. Our resolve (to stick to resolutions we've made) often fails due to a number of reasons. Two reasons are worth of mention:
- Moods we have when we make our resolutions differ from various moods we will encounter throughout the unfolding new year.
- Willpower is a finite resource.
When our mood is good, a lot of us tend to think of ourselves as capable. The yuletide season offers fertile ground for good moods, for thinking ourselves capable. Everyone is celebratory and their excitement can be infectious. In our good mood, we might find the thought of speaking to a crowd less daunting - we can do anything. Or, we might find that the prospect of getting a new job in the new year, despite fruitless attempts in the ending year, feels more plausible - we are now followed by divine grace and unmerited favour. Or, we might find that the possibility of finding love in the new year shines with inevitability - we are sure our time, our year, has come. However the season inevitably ends, ushering in the bustle of regular life where the air isn't so celebratory . We would need to deliver work on deadlines, we would have to deal with people who might act in unexpected ways. And these can have darkening effects on our moods. By mid-February we are not thinking in terms of our capabilities and becoming better people but in terms of ending a given day as soon as it arrives.
As for mustering will, we only need to make the resolution to form the new habit of waking up earlier, say at 4:30am, without the pull of a 9-5, to know that willpower is a resource that depletes with use.
One way to deal with resolutions is not to make them in the first place. But this approach fails to offer route to what we truly want: to be better persons, to achieve our goals, to live remarkable lives. So it makes sense to have resolutions and it makes even better sense to stick to methods that allow our resolutions fall through. The first step is realizing goodwill and willpower play only a partial role in their ability to help us sustain behavioural change. A superior approach is to deploy an arsenal of rules and tools to support our efforts. The following three suggestions offer route for ensuring our chances for sticking to a made resolution succeeds.
- Make Strong Resolutions: Proclaiming that our lot in the new year is (to focus on) unmerited favour is what can be called A Weak Resolution. The best it does is swell a fleeting tingly feeling of possibility within us. It offers no route to behavioural change. It is very possible to come into mid-February to see that the amount of 'unmerited favour' we have is unchanged from the amount of favour we had in previous years. It lags in its measure of informing us about the changes we hope to see. A Strong Resolution is behaviour-centric. It focuses on actions we can take to realize the change we seek. An example is: cut internet time to less two hours a day (11:00am - 12:00pm and 6:30pm - 7:30pm) to allow for time to focus on important activities.
- Less is More: In all the excitement of the yuletide season, the tendency is to come of with a myriad of changes to make in our lives: Be more kind; Make more money; Wake Up Earlier, etc. While coming up with resolutions can be all well and good, the numerosity of changes to be made ensures no change will be made. It is best to avoid making a myriad of resolutions. One would be ideal but this too suffers the threat of neglect. So two at a time can suffice.
- Use Checkmarks: For a chosen resolution, it can be of tremendous value to keep track of efforts by keeping a score board. The rule is simple. Using a calendar, place a checkmark on days in which success is achieved in sticking to a made resolution. For example, we might make a strong resolution to visit a gym three times a week in efforts to lose some weight. The application of this rule is to place a checkmark on days when going to the gym was a success.
In efforts to lead better lives, many of us come up with resolutions: an array of decisions to help us adjust our behaviours in order to align ourselves with our highest possibilities. Sticking to resolutions we make can be tricky. We would meet with scenarios that will alter our moods and find times particularly difficult to muster the will to stick to our resolutions. It is best to support our efforts with specific tools and rules. We can make strong resolutions as opposed to weak ones. We can focus on sticking to succeed at a small number of resolutions. We can use check marks to track our progress. It can be invigorating to proclaim the certainty of incoming divine grace and unmerited favour in our lives, but in the long run what counts is how well we succeed in changing our behaviours. What counts is how well we keep our resolutions to refuse to be who we've tended to be in preceding years.
Enjoy!
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Post Author: P. W. Uduk
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Photo Source: www.longwallpapers.com; www.tsevis.com
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Voltando aos espetinhos, nunca há alguma fórmula.
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