Back to Basics: How to Stick to What You Find Important.

by Paul Uduk.

The Search

In a world that clamours for your every attention, it’s easy to drift in clouds that precipitate confusion. Our attempts to find clarity or at least numb the effects of the clamouring prove futile –sometimes even with our best efforts.

The proverbial story of the prodigal son who went in search of "something", only to return home to where he truly belonged should ring with familiarity in most of our heads. One would stand to question the need for the search in the first place.

Emptiness only fills one with more emptiness. And, the only reason emptiness/unhappiness abounds in our lives is because we aren't doing anything, at least, nothing that we or anyone around considers important.

So, how to you do something you consider important?

Lifting the Veil

"Important" is a broad term. For this purpose, I define it as something you and/or others value that brings value to you and others.

Having a clear picture, path and elaborate prescription to our various ends would have been superbly nice. Unfortunately –some of us would consider it fortunate– we don't usually have that luxury.

For starters, quit entertaining the flurry of competing thoughts in your head. Endlessly pondering why you don’t have clarity will only perpetuate confusion. And, this confusion only takes you further from what you might consider important.

The best way to do this is to look within.

Analysis of Your Habits 

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; 
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
    watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

-Frank Outlaw.

By far, this [habits] has got to be the hardest code to crack –speaking from a personal perspective.

For how long are you going to continue in search of something that is right in front of you? You look to screens large and small just to avoid dealing with what is important but might bring about a degree of discomfort.

Are you habitually producing something or are you habitually consuming something? You know, something like TV, video games, websites, etc.

You are consuming eh?

Draw out a pen and notebook, it’s time to carry out an analysis of your habits and determine whether or not they are taking you to where you’d like to be. Where achieving something important would come naturally.

A Token for your Actions

Take it easy though, Rome wasn't built in a day and your life will not suddenly become spectacular.

Using your pen and notebook, write down a list of the things that consumes most of your time: commuting, taking bull-crap from your boss, idle gossip with friends and co-workers, cleaning, reading, daydreaming, compulsively checking facebook status and email, instant messaging on bbm, whatsapp, facebook etc.

It’s not that these things are not “worthy” things to do. But, are they stealing time from what is truly important? If yes, then you must shed them off your daily schedule and watch what happens over a specific duration: a month, two weeks or a week.

Will it be easy? 

That depends on what your motivation is and how you implement the strategy.

Take for instance; Thomas –a good friend of mine– has always wanted to be an early riser. He wants to easily get out of bed by 5am and start his day. Doing this would add 2.5 more precious hours to each of his usually hectic work days. But, the thing is Thomas has never willingly gotten out of bed before 7:30am. When his “annoying” alarm buzzes by 5am, he quickly hits the snooze button to resume his precious sleep. Three hours later, he jumps out of bed and dashes around like a “mad man” trying to meet up so as not to get another query from his boss about punctuality.

He has tried countless times to inculcate the habit of getting up by 5am. But, he has failed every single time.

Wanna know why?

The best bet is Thomas is trying too hard. Quoting Mark Twain, habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window by any man but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Thomas fails because he wants to suddenly cut 3hours of sleep from his sleep. His body is bound to fight back and he can't win that fight. No one can.

One sure way of eradicating a bad habit is to GRADUALLY replace it with a good one.

Binging on social media can be replaced with Planning and Priotizing.

Mindless daydreaming can be replaced with taking necessary small steps to further plans you've made.

Rising at 8am can be replaced with rising at 7:45am while continuously substracting 10 to 15 minutes on a weekly, biweekly or monthly basis until u get to your ideal wake up time.

If you are in the habit of entertaining idle gossip from co-workers on a daily basis. Set out to schedule "idle talk time" in between specific work time durations –when you actually focus on work–  for a day, if you succeed with that, do two days, then one week and so on. Just be sure you stick to it and monitor your gradual progress

It’s imperative that we ruthlessly cull ineffective actions that lead to degaratory habits.

Vitals Behaviours

According to the authors of Influencer: The Power to Change Anything. Any worthy goal can be achieved. The trick is to find the "Vital Behaviours" needed to achieve the goal. Usually two to three behaviors that when done certainly bring about the desired outcome.

Vital behaviours needed to successfully stick with what you find important include.

#1. Reviewing at your goals daily

#2. Planning your week in advance.

#3. Reviewing and Adjusting(where necessary) your daily plans daily.

#4. Doing whatever is necessary to follow through with your plans.

He made me do it! (Training Others on How to Treat You)

Most of the stress that arise in our lives arise from how others treat us with respect to our time and energy. What is insidious about this is the complete oblivion to the fact that we train others how to treat us.

If someone crosses ur boundary for the first time. Show the person the right direction away from your boundary while s/he is still at the egde. The amount of time you spend ignoring the perpetrator is in direct proportion to how bad things can get and how far away you can be led astray from what you find important.

Conclusion

The best way to stick with what you find important is to do what’s important in getting what you find important. Habituate the art of converting things you want to be into things you must do. Do those things, neglect everything else and gradually edge into what you find important.