Beyonce knows how to handle a conflict

By Paul Washington Uduk

I have always loved Beyonce. There was something about her voice when I heard "Independent Woman" that left me hooked. As we grew, she saw to it that her every move I perceived coaxed me into wanting more. The only thing I didn't like about her largely because I didn't understand it at the time was her then boyfriend: Jay-Z.

The thought that whatever Beyonce did with her life was really not of my business crossed my mind and as long as she was doing really good songs I loved and she remained happy, I was good. 

We tend to reject what we do not understand. Her most recent album had me reaching unhealthy levels of "I don't get understand this" I had to put it aside and felt she was begining to lose my interest. Then the first authentic scandal of Queen Bee appeared just last week and I couldn't be more in love with Queen Beyonce. You must have heard; Her sister Solange was in a fight with her husband Jay-Z. What struck me was how Beyonce acted in the elevator. Like-A-Queen. And then she took to twitter and posted a prayer. That prayer did it for me. It spoke of someone who knew the value of being wise and it has inspired me to write on how to settle conflict.  

Here are lovely tips. 

Seek Wisdom. 

Seeking wisdom only ensures that we get more of it. In doing so we develop our understanding of ourselves, people and our environment

Master the art of remaining calm

We tend to exaggerate our excitement. When anger is added to the mix, remaining calm can be a daunting task. Good news is, it gets better with practise. A sense of self-confidence and self awareness is exceptionally important here. Develop them.

Be Graceful and Firm. 

Situations my arise where the second party really gives off annoying disposition. Either by shouting angrily or by belittling you passively or silently. Its wise to remain graceful and firmly in charge of yourself. I had been in a situation where a colleague had heard that I had propagated a sensitive detail about his private life to a considerable number of people who spread the embarassing details until it was all over campus. He was furious! He came unto me angrily and spat every awful word he could conceive at me. My initial attempt was to calm him down. I had enough understanding to know that an enraged person isn't thinking properly because blood supply to the brain is lower than normal at that point. He exhibited very low thinking capacity at that moment. I know him to be a highly intelligent person and I needed him to think so as to see clearly that his hearings were false. My attempt at calming him down failed. Here is what I said before I excused myself: "You are not thinking properly, largely because you are angry. I'll leave you in your anger and wait for you to calm down. When you feel you are sufficiently calm and can think clearly. I'll be more than happy to reason with you" he was quiet and I walked away. The shouting resumed. Luckily it wasn't directed at me. The next day, I got an apology from him, he had found the true perpetrators and we got to talk at length about the misunderstanding.  

Know when you are wrong.

One thing that brews lack of cooperation and sometimes conflict is everyone is trying to proof that their opinion is the right opinion. We all know that moment when we notice the mouth of the person we are talking with moving but all we can hear is what is being conjured at the back of our mind to counter whatever the hell the person is saying. We give a blind eye to the fact that we just might be wrong. The next time a confrontation plays out. Genuinely listen. Paraphrase the words of the speaker to ensure understanding of the issue being discussed. Try not to interupt the speaker no matter how wrong you feel he is. Let em get it all off. Chances are he is bound to get tired.

Thanks for reading.

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